From Doe Cooks Stag, who undoubtedly got it from Saturday Night Live and NBC
This morning, I cut the dickens out of my finger while making breakfast. After applying pressure I lifted the towel to see how bad it looked, blood started gushing out. I went into the bedroom where he was still sleeping and said “you need to get up because I think I need to go get stitches.” He jumped out of bed with a look of extreme panic and fear. Poor guy. If I ever doubt how much he cares for me or my importance to him, remind me of that look.
Remember the old Saturday Night Live sketch where Dan Aykroyd parodies Julia Child continuing to cook while bleeding profusely from a cut on his hand. Picture that instead off me posting disgusting pictures of my mangled paw. To watch the hilarious clip, click here.
I had him take a look at my finger to see if I needed to go to the hospital. He took one look and said yes. I snuck a quick glance and almost fainted, literally. I don’t like blood and I immediately sat down to avoid hitting it when I passed out.
After lying down on the floor for a bit, we walked to the tram with a towel tourniquet and my hand over my head. We went to a nearby hospital. They were great and couldn’t have been nicer. They had me in and out (and in possession of all 10 digits) quickly. The Swiss healthcare system is fantastic (our friend wrote about having surgery here if you’re curious).
Just like George Costanza in Seinfeld, my career as a hand model is over (check out a clip here). I should walk around with oven mitts.
Jokes so far include:
- The E.T. point from E.T. The Extraterrestrial
- You can pick your friends an you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your friend’s nose. Well, it least you can’t with such a large bandage.
- “It’s just a flesh wound” à la Monty Python
- “Nobody makes me bleed my own blood” from Dodgeball
- He’s now calling me Captain Hook.
Sad, I know, but I took a painkiller so I’m giggling.
Captain Hook (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
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How did you manage to write a blog entry without both hands? Hope you heal quickly!
Thanks. The biggest injury is to my pride…and perhaps my pocketbook.
wow. That bandage looks huge! Glad you had a good care with nice people at the hospital. Get better soon!
(loved the E.T. point! *grins*)
Glad you got to keep all 10 digits. I’m glad the “flesh wound” is intact and you just have a giant weapon at the end of your knuckle now to prove it.
Get better!
Hope it heals soon, and glad you aren’t down a digit!
oh my… that is a large bandage… i hope you are recovering well from your injury… do take care… yes health care here is good… even though i sometimes disagree with all the “let’s wait & see” attitudes…
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😦 but did you run a marathon after your visit to the emergency room…and best your previous years time…like your uncle mame….if not u might just be an amateur cutter…seriously i hope you are doing better…and i am sure you are surprised by this message…expect more sweetheart…just catching up on emails here…75 of them yours…love uncle
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