
Mid-morning hydration break. I drank all of it and, well, let’s just say I wasn’t running around in search of a bathroom.
We had heard that December through March is the best time to visit Dubai and to avoid going during Ramadan. July and August have average temperatures mid-30s to 40s Celsius. We went at the end of June. Oops.
I’d been warned about the heat. People actually used the word boil. Knowing about the heat and actually experiencing it are two different things. It was 48, 45 and 47 (118, 113, 116 Fahrenheit) on the three days I was there. I melted.
I have run marathons where I hydrated less. Like Jane Austen, the heat put me in a perpetual state of inelegance (which unfortunately seems to be the status quo for me). More accurately, I was dripping, a hot mess. Luckily, I wasn’t the only one. Anyone I encountered walking around outside was melting as well.
The heat is incessant. It doesn’t let up. Even after dark it is intense. When I went to the airport at 5:00 a.m., it was already over 30 Celsius (86 Fahrenheit) intense, even after dark.
Just how hot was it?
- It’s so hot, today I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.
- Birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
- It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
- Potatoes cook underground, so just pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
- It’s so hot that I saw two trees fighting over a dog.
- It’s so hot the robins are laying their eggs sunny side up.